COMEDY - HUMOR PAGE

"NOTHING HERE IS TO BE TAKEN SERIOUS" WARNING SOME PEOPLE WILL BE OFFENDED

" LIFE doesn't make any sense, and we all pretend it does. Comedy's job is to point out that it doesn't make sense, and that it doesn't make much difference anyway. "  ERIC IDLE

XO XO XO XO XO XO

 NOZZLE RAGE ! 

? IF THE PRISON SYSTEM GETS ANOTHER PRO-FOOTBALL PLAYER FOR ANIMAL CRUELTY. WHAT WOULD THE MOVIE REMAKE BE CALLED?

THE LONGEST YARD THREE !

? CARBON DIOXIDE IS USED TO PRESERVE MEAT AND CAN ALSO BE USED TO HIDE FOOD THAT HAS ALREADY AGED. THE GOVERNMENT OF CHINA EXECUTED THE HEAD OF FOOD SAFETY LAST MONTH FOR PROBLEMS WITH THE SAFETY OF EXPORTED FOOD PRODUCTS.

IN WHAT FOOD PRODUCT WAS HE GROUND UP AND ADDED TO  ?

DEAD FED CHOW MEIN !

? TWO TERRORISTS WALK INTO THE SAME BUILDING AND BLOW THEMSELVES UP AT THE SAME TIME. WHICH ONE OF THE TERRORIST MARTYRS GETS THE 72 VIRGINS ?

THE ONE WITH THE BIGGEST STICK OF DYNAMITE !

 " POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS NEED TO BE CHANGED.

OFTEN FOR THE SAME REASON ! "  anonymous

?  " HOW MANY POLITICIANS DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHT BULB ? "

"NONE , BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT INTERESTED IN SCREWING A LIGHT BULB"

? " WHY DOES FIDEL CASTRO EAT MENUDO ?

" BECAUSE WITH HIS ILLNESS, IT IS THE ONLY THING HE CAN STOMACH "

?" TWO HOOKERS WALK INTO A COWBOY BAR AND ONLY ONE LEAVES .

WHO PAYS THE TAB ? "

" THE JOHN, OF COURSE ! "

? " TWO DEVELOPERS WALK INTO CITY HALL AND BOTH LEAVE.

 WHO PAYS THE TAB ? "

" THE TAX PAYER, OF COURSE  ! "

? "FIVE FRENCHMAN ENLIST IN THE FRENCH ARMY. WHY ? "

" BECAUSE THEY KNOW THEY WILL BE SAFE ! "

? "IF A WOMAN IS ELECTED PRESIDENT, WILL WE HAVE

A NEW WAR EVERY 28 DAYS AND WILL SHE REMEMBER WHY ? " 

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